You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize