tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize