More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
