Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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