I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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