I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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