Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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