Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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