Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
