I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
