I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize