Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
