I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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