K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize