if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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