And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
