8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
