so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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