You smell like stripper and shame
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
