then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
