Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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