Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I need water and some morals
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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