you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so let's talk penis.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
