...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
