If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
