sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
