he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
