Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
