Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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