You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
