Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
