Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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