i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
