Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
