so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
where are you?
Hypothermia
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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