Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
