The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Randomize
