i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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