Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
