yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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