im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
