Your tits are I can't wait for
accomplished twins. life is a go
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
