I could make wine with my vomit
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
