I'm lost and stupid without you.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
