i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize