is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
