There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was confusing and full of hummus
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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