You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
