It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
