Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
