I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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