please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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