im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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