just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
