loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
