fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
