C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
