If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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