i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
