Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
